Sunny Winter Days

This year Melbourne has enjoyed a fairly mild winter. We could do with more rain, and there have been some very cold nights, but on the whole, it has been a lovely winter. The kind of winter I can sign up for experiencing year after year.

This past week I have been housesitting for friends who are vacationing in Cairns. Their house is in the south, and since I live in the north I don't know this part of the city very well. This afternoon I decided to go for a wander down to the beach. I walked along the boardwalk, then along the beach, being careful not to step in the jellyfish that had washed up along the shore.

Even though I have been here for a year and a half now, this was only my second time going to the beach in Melbourne. The first time I went during the heat wave and ended up with sun stroke, so I have been reluctant to return. But today, while the sun was out, it was still cool for me to actually enjoy my walk along the beach.

After having satified myself with the beach, I decided to wander back, taking a different route than I had come by. Fortunately I was not in any hurry to get back, as I ended up walking in the opposite direction from my friend's house.

I like to explore, and taking a wrong turn can often lead you to some interesting places. I try not to be so concerned about the destination when I set off wandering. After all, you can't be lost if you know where you are. And I knew that I had just walked through Elsternwick Park and was walking along the bike path beside the canal, since my friend's house is near the canal.

Eventually, I came across a train station. It wasn't a train station I was familiar with, but fortunately it was on the train line I needed. It turns out I had walked 2 stations further down the line from my friend's place. I desided it was time to get myself on a train and home!

I'm taking care of my friend's cats, Jack and Floyd, as well. The boys were happy to have me back home and I gave them both a brush as they came out back to play. Then I got myself an afternoon snack and went to sit in the sun on the front porch. I opened the door so the cats could join me. Floyd was quick to come and sit with me.

I was reading a book when Jack decided to join us. I looked up to see what Floyd was up to and noticed a ginger fuzzball on the other side of the front gate! The little sneak! When I opened the gate to get him he knew he'd been naughty and came running right back into the front yard. After that, he didn't try to escape again.

Now that the day is cooling off we are all snuggled up in the house. Tomorrow I plan to go exploring the markets at this end of the city during the day, and in the evening I'll be baking muffins as Lizzie's prize for winning our hair growing competition. She beat me by 2.5cm.

Until next time...

Psychic Colour Waves

In the time I have lived in Melbourne I have become aware of a strange fashion phenomenon that commonly occurs amongs this city's residents. I call it: Melbourne's Colour of the Day.

Melbourne is a very fashion conscious city to begin with, and it appears that the fashionistas of this city have developed a sixth sense for spotting trends and taking them up....on the same day. I usually notice this because a disporportionate number of unrelated people will be wearing the same colour schemes, or a particular style or accessory. Yesterday's esoteric fashion phenomenon: orange stockings.

I haven't quite caught on to the psychic wardrobe transmissions that are forcasting themselves throughout this city yet, and I'm not sure if I want to. I like that Melbourne has this vibe where people wake up and just know that today is the day to wear their orange stockings, but I'd rather retain what's left of my sense of fashion individuality. I don't have any delusions of having a totally individual sense of style -- I may not have caught on to the exact day that I should be wearing my orange stockings, but I do have orange stockings. As much as I love this city and want to be a part of it, sometimes I enjoy getting to be on the outside, looking in.

Alternate Universes

I'm back in Melbourne now, settling back into my old routines, after a very relaxing and wonderful week in Hawaii. Being back, I feel like I've travelled to another planet and back -- my lives in Calgary and Melbourne are so different from one another, and well, let me explain.

I was so prepared to have a horrible time when I came back to Calgary that it took me quite awhile to realize that I was actually enjoying myself. When I finally did realize that I was having a pretty good time I was a little flabbergasted by the discovery. I was also a little saddened (just a little) by it because it meant leaving behind a bunch of really great and amazing people, again.

Over the past year and a bit, I've lost a lot of contact with my friends, and a lot of family, in Calgary. When I came back, I was surprised to find myself surrounded by a group of amazingly talented and supportive friends. I was also amazed at how easy it was to pick up with lapsed connections. Sparks of life were reignited in friendships that I thought had dwindled down into acquantanships. It seems the time apart and the growth we've all done in that time has really allowed for connections on new levels to develop and blossom. I am truly sadden at having to leave those friends behind, once again. I hope, though, that the friendships continue to grow, even if we are on opposite sides of the world.

Being so far away from any sort of biological family means that I have to be independent in ways I otherwise would not. For instance, this evening when I got off the tram and discovered it was pouring rain and I was not properly dressed for the weather, I couldn't pick up the phone and call a parent, sibling, or grandparent to ask for a lift the kilometer back to my house. (That being said, if my housemate had been home, he probably would have come right out to get me if I called and asked.)

But in the year or so I've been living in Australia, I have learnt not to ask for help. This is something I am starting to unlearn as I realize that I have many friends who are happy to help me, and that there is a difference between asking for help and expecting to receive it. Being back in Calgary, where it was easy for me to pick up the phone and ask for a ride or whatever, I often had to stop myself from relying on others to chauffer me around. Leaving Calgary, I realized how much I would miss the convience of being able to call on family for help with various simple things. I also realized how much I need to buy my own car.

So, while I was happy to be leaving Calgary, I was also keenly aware that I was leaving behind some pretty great things too. And, having been away from Melbourne and out of contact with much of my circle here for a month, I was also feeling a bit less like I was heading home and more like I was heading back into the great unknown.

The week I spent with my Mom in Hawaii was wonderful. It was a true vacation. It completely took my mind off of the sorrow I was feeling about the people I left behind in Calgary, and the anxiety I felt about what I would be returning to in Melbourne. It really wasn't until I was well on my way hurling down the Pacific that I started to feel anxious about returning to Melbourne.

After arriving for Melbourne for the first time in February of last year, it really didn't take long for me to start feeling like I was at home. In fact, I felt more at home in this strange country where I hardly knew a soul than I had ever, anywhere, in my entire life. But, as I made my first big trip to this place I so strongly proclaim to be home, I started to question why Melbourne, above anywhere else, is the place I call home. I knew that my feelings for this city were intense, but on that flight from Honolulu to Sydney, I wasn't sure as to why.

As the plane began its decent, the woman sitting next to me struck up a conversation. She was also from Melbourne. We talked about what would be involved with transferring flights in Sydney, discovered that we weren't on the same connecting flight, and joked that I might end up on her flight as I was unlikely to make my connection (which I didn't. We ended up being on different flights, but we arrived in Melbourne at the same time.) We talked about the footy and what teams we barrack for. And slowly, I started to remember.

Once we touched down in Sydney, I turned on my phone and started to reconnect with the social circle I've built up for myself here in Melbourne. Because I had to switch flights at the last minute, I lost out on my vegetarian meal on my flight to Melbourne. The flight attendant gave me some cheese and crackers, and some buns from first class, and the man sitting beside me offered up his cheese and crackers for me as well.

When I got off the plane, my housemate was waiting for me at baggage collection. Over the years I've gotten so used to having no-one waiting for me when I get off a plane that I had forgotten how welcoming it is to have someone meet me and help me with my (ridiculously large and heavy) bags.

Over the weekend I mostly just relaxed and worked on adjusting my body clock to Melbourne time, but I also caught up with my former housemate, Kirsty, who is, essentially, my big sister. Today was my first day back at uni. I was a bit nervous about going in, partially because it's been so nice to take a break from my PhD, and partially because that break meant telling my supervisors I didn't finish my ethics application.

As soon as I got to my campus, I was greated with lots of warm "Welcome Backs" and, from one of my bosses, a "thank god you're here!" Oh I missed those boys! It hasn't taken me long since I've been back to remember why I'm so adament about Melbourne being my home. It's the people. In Calgary I have some amazing friends, but the people in the city tend to be angry, dissatisfied, unfriendly, and rude. No matter how many people meet me at the airport, it doesn't feel particularly welcoming there.

The difference is so stark, that being back in Melboune has been like returning to a different planet. That being said, going back to Calgary was like visiting a different planet too. A lot has changed in the city I used to call home since I left. But going back made me realize how much I've changed too. Coming back to Melbourne has been humbling. It's strange, to be a migrant. To have a place that is unquestioningly considered home from the outside, but where I don't want to live; and to have a place that unquestioningly in my heart is my home, but where I don't have the legal status to permanently call it my home (yet) ... it's all a little strange.

Ah, Calgary

My time in Calgary is quickly coming to an end -- in under a week I will be relaxing in the sun in Honolulu. This trip hasn't been so bad though. I was prepared for the worst and it turns out I have actually enjoyed my time back. That being said, I'm looking forward to getting back to Melbourne and am definitely feeling like 6 weeks away was a bit too ambitious. Maybe part of that is the guilt I feel for not having worked on my ethics application, which was supposed to be approved by the time I got back. Or maybe it's just that being back in Calgary is not my ideal way of spending my vacation time.

Regardless, it has been good to be back, on a number of levels. I've enjoyed catching up with friends and family. And I haven't broken out into horrible rashes, confirming that I am allergic to suffites, and not the water in Calgary. The best thing about being back has been realizing that it's not so bad to be back...for a visit. I could never live here again, not if I wanted to be happy.

Calgary is still the soul sucking place I remembered it to be, and it seems like things are slipping backwards instead of creeping forwards. I admire the people that stay on and try to challenge the repressive corporate cuture of this city, but I don't blame anyone for leaving the moment the chance arises.

It's been amazing to see how much the cost of living has risen here. It's nearly on par as Melbourne, which is shocking considering how much less value you get for your money here. Public transit, for instance, is only slightly more expensive in Melboure (and a day pass is less expensive) than Calgary, but in Melbourne you can actually get to nearly every corner of the city at nearly any time of day or night.

In Calgary, if you're downtown past 6pm, not only are you walking along empty streets, but it's really not safe. I have heard a ridiculous amount of stories about people being harassed and attacked by anyone from drug addicts to police officers in the still civilized hours of the evening on the streets of downtown Calgary. The more I see of this city the more I think it really has disintigrated into a wild-West era vigillante run city.

If I'm downtown at night in Melbourne, I'm not really worried about being harassed by anyone, and I'm certainly not concerned about police brutality or vigillante street chapels. Seriously Calgary. What the fuck?

One thing I have come to realize from this trip back is that Canada and Australia have both taken very different traits from the British. Canada took on the polite, PC, never-stick-your-nose-in-anyone-else's-business traits. Australia took on the humour, spelling, and gardening. Australians stand up for themselves, and for others. Canadians could learn a lot from this.

I'm looking forward to getting back to the land of smiling faces and sun burns, where community is important, and people help one another out.

Bending the Space-Time Continuum

I believe the closest we have come to inventing time travel are direct flights to/from Australia and North America and Europe. Sure, it’s true that crossing the date line from any 2 points results in the loss or gain of a day. But this is particularly poignant when travelling completely to the other side of the earth.

This morning, Saturday morning, I woke up around 5:30 am and got the last of my stuff together. Kirsty picked me up at 7:30 am and we went for a proper Melbourne coffee before she dropped me off at the airport, around 8:30am. By 10am I was settled into my seat on the plane and ready to head back through time and space.

As I am writing this, at LAX, it is 8:30am on Saturday. It’s as if I have been given a chance to redo the day, although, I know the price of this is that I will lose a day when I return and travel into the future. I would rather not lose a day in Melbourne to gain a day in LA, but that’s the consequence of time travel.

With all the preparations and bitching about coming back, it hadn’t really hit me that I was returning to North America. It seemed obscure and unreal. Not even 13.5 hours floating over the Pacific in a tin can was enough to really make me believe I had really left my home. It wasn’t until I got off the plane at LAX that I really realized I’m not in Australia anymore. Australians are warm hearted, friendly people. When I got off the plane there were some airport workers standing at the gate, and I gave them a friendly smile. Instead of getting a friendly smile in return, I just got glazed over looks that told me I was not, by any means, a unique individual human being. All my hopes and dreams that I hadn’t really left Australia were shattered and I resigned myself to accepting that I am back in North America now. I’m looking forward to leaving already.
(As a side note, since I am in Calgary now, I am actually enjoying being back and having a break from uni.)

Sign at my gate at LAX:

WARNING
This Area Contains
Chemicals Known To
The State Of California
To Cause Cancer And
Birth Defects Or Other
Reproductive Harm.

I love that Every Word Is Capitalized And Yet They Still Put A Period At The End Of The Sentance. This sign makes me want to know a lot more about these chemicals, like, how much exposure to them causes cancer and birth defects and other reproductive harm? And where in the 'area' are they? See, the problem with this warning is that it's not really informing me of anything other than that I should be fearful. It doesn't actually tell me anything useful. Ah, America.

Bracing For The Shock

It is only a matter of days now before I return to Calgary, and I am starting to get some excitement mixed in with the general sense of dread I've had about the trip. For all my years of travel, I have learnt how to manage culture shock when I arrive somewhere new. But I have never learnt how to manage the culture shock of returning to Calgary. And this time is set to be especially intense!

In Melbourne, I am surrounded by incredibly intelligent, open minded, progressive people who are constantly challenging each other to grow, both as researchers and as individual people. A sizable minority of the people I know are either (or both) queer or vegetarian. Going out for food and coffee I am presented with a plethora of amazing options. There are interesting museums and plenty of cultural events going on all the time so there's never a reason to be bored. Plus, the shopping is indescribably amazing. My experience of Melbourne is not at all representative of the city itself, I know. But my experience of Melbourne is basically that it is my own personal paradise on earth.

In Calgary, I have not found people to be particularly supportive or open minded or progressive. The culture in Calgary is based around commerce, which I find disgusting. What I feel about Calgary I feel strongly and I'm not going to hold my feelings back. I find the people in Calgary challenging in their refusal to change. The queer culture in Calgary seems to mostly be there because they haven't yet found a way to be elsewhere, and as a vegetarian, you can't walk into any restaurant and be garuanteed to have options to choose from on the menu. My experience of Calgary is not at all representative of the city itself, I know. But my experience of Calgary is basically that it is my own personal hell on earth.

I am very much looking forward to seeing friends and family and pets. And I know the experience of coming back will probably not be as bad as it gets played out in my head...my expectations are, as I'm sure you've gathered, low. I also know that I would regret it if I didn't come back when I had the chance, which is why I will actually be getting on that plane on Saturday.

I'm not interested in having the same experiences that I've had living in Calgary before. I don't know what has changed with people in Calgary, but I know what has changed in me. And soon, Calgary will know too.

As March Goes Marching By

Apologies for the long delay in posting! I was incredibly busy with my proposal and moving house in February, and have been dealing with the aftermath of those things for most of March. That makes it sound like things are bad, which they aren't.

My proposal was a sucess, sort of. My theory and critique of the literature wowed and amazed my colleagues, but my methodology sparked a rather heated debate amongst my panel, the result of which was that I had to change it. That happened at the beginning of the month and I have been working to figure out how best to go about doing some very complicated and multifascited research. Yesterday I emailed my supervisors my proposed methodology...the response to which was "let's meet on Monday." Everyone is very busy with the IASSCS conference only a couple weeks away, so that is an understandable response, though I would have appreciated some inkling about if they were happy with my justification or not. I suppose I could just ask them. At any rate, I know what I want to do and why I want to do it and why it is the best way to go about doing my research, and I'm not taking no for an answer.

I am all moved in and settled into my new place and really enjoying it. It's a lot smaller than my previous place, but the layout of the place is a lot more practical. I was worried my new housemae and I would be on top of one another, but that hasn't been an issue, other than when we both try to make breakfast at the same time, but we manage. Living with a boy has been, well, different. It's definitely taken some adjusting. On the whole though I am enjoying the change. We have very different outlooks on the world, and I'm enjoying challenging his views. ;) I make up for it in baked goods and coffee and that seems to be an exceptable balance.

I can still hardly believe that I'll be back in Calgary in just over 2 weeks. I'm looking forward to catching up with friends and family again, and I'm really looking forward to my vacation from my vacation in Hawaii! To be honest, I have mixed feelings about returning to Calgary and I am glad that it is just for a visit. I don't ever plan to live there again as living there always made me deeply unhappy. I don't consider Calgary to be home anymore -- Melbourne is my home. But Calgary is where I am from, and will always be a part of who I am and I'm not interested in denying that.